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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?